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WERDOOMED

I never know what to say in times like this...
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Member Since: 10/2009  Last Seen: 5/18/2012

The Nickname I Couldn't Write (a personal story).

Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:12 PM EST
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By weRdoomed
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I am certain this story will not be what you thought it would be about (names have been changed to protect the innocent)...

For two years, I worked in a funeral home as an "Operations Specialist" which is a fancy name for being the funeral director's bitch.  There were actually 3 funeral directors so I was a bitch for all of them.  Sometimes, I was a bitch to all of them!  Haha, just kidding.  Ahem, but I digress.

One of my most important duties was proofreading obituaries and then sending them off to the newspaper.  One evening, Jamie brought up an obituary that needed to be sent off for the following day.  As I began reading, I saw that the deceased had a nickname. 

"Ummm, Jamie?"

"Yes, Heather?"

"I'm not sure this is right...it looks like you want me to put that Mr. Smith's nickname was 'Kike'..." I didn't even feel comfortable saying it aloud.

Jamie just gave me a blank stare.  "So....?"

"Kike?...That's his nickname?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"Kike? K-I-K-E?" I spelled it out for her.

"Is there something wrong with that nickname?" She asked accusingly.  Man, these midwesterns were dense.  I grew up in Jersey so I knew that there was a whole hell of a lot wrong with the nickname "Kike".

"It's just that...I thought it was a derogatory word," I offered.  Another blank stare.

"So...you want me to keep it in?"

"Why wouldn't I?  That was a his nickname"

I went back to editing.  After a moment of silence, I couldn't help myself...

"So, like, his whole family calls him 'Kike'?"

"Yeah.  Why, what does it mean?"  I tried to explain to the sweet old funeral director who was raised in a Jew-less world what "Kike" meant, but it just didn't have the oompf it would to a east coast dweller.

The gentleman who put the obits in the newspaper had become a sort of friend over the months I had worked there.  I often called him at 5:55pm (deadline was 6pm to enter an obit) to beg him to "hold the press" for another 10 minutes while I finished up a piece and he would oblige.

Otherwise, all communications were via email.

As I hit send on this one, I found myself hoping Mike was Catholic.

I was packing up my things when the phone rang.  Jamie peered over her cubicle...

"Heather, it's Mike from the Sandpaper on line 1 for you"

Mike was calling!?

"Yes, Mike?"

"Hey, Heather.  I just received the obit you sent over and there is a little problem.  We can't run an obit with the word 'Kike' in it."

"Oh, Mike...haha" I tried to laugh it off  (I tried to warn them!) "It's not a problem, we'll let the family know.  Just run it without the nickname." I said

"It's weird...I don't know why.   We have a software that prevents certain things from going through and it's picking up this word for some reason."

Oh, Mike must be from the midwest too.

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weRdoomed

Oh, Kike...he was a great guy.

  • 3 votes
Reply#1 - Fri Feb 10, 2012 9:13 PM EST
Grisham

I can't believe nobody knew what it meant! Interesting story. Thanks for the read.

  • 3 votes
Reply#2 - Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:06 PM EST
weRdoomed

It was striking to me as well. I suppose it's really a good thing. Honestly, I'm not sure why I know the word -- I never heard it used against someone. I grew up in Jersey and we have a very extensive Jewish population in our town...must have seeped in somehow.

In any case...it was one of my first true "midwest" experiences. :) Thanks for reading.

  • 2 votes
#2.1 - Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:18 PM EST
Reply
US Citizen-658112

I've been mistaken for being an "Easterner" at times as I definitely am "no bs, get right to the point" in a tactful but obvious way in most business and some personal communications.

The English language and it's proper usage MATTER to me and I make a personal effort to NOT degrade it or use it wrongly as I feel the basis of our common communication must be kept intact if we are all to communicate.

I commend you on your efforts to protect the reputation of the dead. The fact that others may have been uninformed does not change the need to do what needs to be done.

My father's father was as one of his roles in town the funeral directer and everything else to do with it. My father had a DEFINITE opinion about funeral homes which I will only offer was NOT conducive to funeral homes or the business that they engage in.

I'm sorry you had to deal with an obviously poor work situation while in the funeral home. And that you apparently defended yourself effectively while working there.

An interesting story. Thank you for sharing it.

  • 3 votes
Reply#3 - Fri Feb 10, 2012 10:54 PM EST
weRdoomed

:) The funeral home was actually an interesting gig. And it was an incredibly respectful place. I learned a lot about integrity there.

For example, there was a woman who had requested that no men be in the room when she was embalmed. We had only one female funeral director and this woman passed when we were very busy. However, the other two directors stayed upstairs while the female embalmed the woman to honor her wishes. Everyone had to stay late to make up for lost time.

No one would have ever known if they didn't honor this request, but they did anyway.

That kind of thing meant a lot to me.

I think this was more a commentary on the midwest. In the end, I suppose it is a good thing to not have ever even heard of a racial slur.

I would like to know how he got the nickname, however.

  • 2 votes
#3.1 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:32 PM EST
US Citizen-658112

I'm glad to know your time there was not all a trial.

May your day go well!

  • 1 vote
#3.2 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 5:42 PM EST
Reply
Kearney Outlaw

Raspberries to ya from Missouri. :-P

(Good story, though.)

  • 3 votes
Reply#4 - Sat Feb 11, 2012 1:30 AM EST
weRdoomed

We love you guys!!

    #4.1 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:32 PM EST
    Reply
    mightyj

    That is funny. I didn't know any derogatory anything for a Jewish person until I stayed with an Aunt that was anti-semitic. I couldn't believe how hateful she was to a group of people that had seemingly never done anything to her and weren't in evidence for at least hundreds of miles (probably more). It was so weird but I did learn the word kike amongst others.

    • 2 votes
    Reply#5 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 12:54 AM EST
    weRdoomed

    People are so strange. Ask my grandmother for her life wisdom - it's one sentence - "Stay away from Jews."

    You can either say she is a bigot or aware that they have historically bad luck.

    • 1 vote
    #5.1 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:33 PM EST
    mightyj

    During World War 2 that would have been sage advice.

      #5.2 - Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:58 PM EST
      Reply
      Arkansas Gloria

      Never heard the word before!

      • 3 votes
      Reply#6 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 1:56 AM EST
      weRdoomed

      I actually consider that a good thing.

        #6.1 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:32 PM EST
        Reply
        deepwater don

        Never heard the word until I had a Jewish friend in graduate school. He used it as a self-depreciating way, usually with humor involved. Much like I see(hear) Afro-Americans using the N word in their language or idiom.

        Then again I dated a Jewish girl for awhile, and never heard her use the word. And my daughter-in-law is Afro-American, and I have never heard her use the N word

        Guess the meaning is in the mind of the listener/beholder.

        • 1 vote
        Reply#7 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 8:10 AM EST
        Susanaree

        My wonderful brother-in-law passed away last week, and my niece wrote the obit, including that "he never met a back road he didn't like."

        However, the newspapers (both) wrote "he never met a back yard he didn't like." The funeral director was mortified (small ha!) and had it changed for the second day. She said "back yard" made it sounded like he was a peeping tom!

        • 1 vote
        Reply#8 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:11 PM EST
        weRdoomed

        I laugh a little...but I know the horror of making mistakes in obits. Some can take it with a chuckle....but for others, it is a true insult and I would never want to insult someone's loved one.

        At the funeral home, I learned that everyone is someone else's "most important person in the world" and that is meaningful....it sucks to @!$%# up their final goodbye.

          #8.1 - Mon Feb 13, 2012 2:34 PM EST
          Susanaree

          Fortunately the funeral director and my sister are very good friends. We all had a good laugh during a tough time. When it came time to take my brother-in-law to the crematorium, the funeral director refused to take 287 (remember that highway from your NJ days?), and took all back roads for his last ride. That's a good friend.

          • 2 votes
          #8.2 - Tue Feb 14, 2012 10:23 AM EST
          Reply
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